“Why are you shaking?” I asked.
“Because I don’t want you digging up old pain,” he said.
The answer did not sit right. It settled somewhere deep and heavy, like a warning I could not yet interpret.
Two days later, I understood why.
He had gone next door without telling me. He later admitted that he recognized the name on a package left by the porch, the name of the couple who had adopted my child. He had buried it for years, but not deeply enough to forget.
Three days after the moving truck arrived, Austin knocked on my door.
“I made too much coffee,” he said with a grin. “And my kitchen still looks like a storage unit. Want to come over?”
I should have said no.
Instead, I said yes.
When I told my father, he responded too quickly. “You don’t need to go.”
“Why?” I asked.
He picked at the arm of his chair. “No reason.”
That has meant no reason.
At five o’clock, I walked next door.
Austin opened the door and stepped aside to let me in. “Ignore the mess,” he said.
I took one step inside and froze.
There, draped over an armchair by the window, was a small knitted blanket.
Blue wool.
Yellow birds in each corner.
My blanket.
The one my mother had claimed to destroy.
The room tilted. I caught myself against the doorframe.
“Hey,” Austin said, his tone shifting instantly. “Are you okay?”
I pointed, my voice barely working. “Where did you get that?”
He turned, picked it up carefully, and said, “I’ve had it my whole life.”
My chest tightened.
“I was adopted when I was three days old,” he continued, more quietly now. “My parents told me my birth mother left me with this blanket and a note.”
My heart pounded so hard it hurt.
“What did the note say?” I asked.
He hesitated, then answered, “It said, ‘Tell him he was loved.’”
The world narrowed to a single, impossible point.
Before I could respond, a voice cut through the silence.
“Lila. We need to go.”
My father stood in the doorway.
Austin turned, recognition flickering across his face. “Oh, hi. You came by last week, right? You said you knew my adoptive parents.”
I looked at my father, truly looked at him, and saw something collapse in his expression.
In that moment, I knew.
Not suspected.
Knew.
“Tell me the truth,” I said.
He closed his eyes.
“Now.”
Austin glanced between us, confusion sharpening into concern. “What’s going on?”
My father’s voice was unsteady. “Your mother arranged the adoption,” he said.
The words hung in the air.
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